Another year, another chance to mindfuck the entire population of Great Britain. Several hundred more goons unrepresentative of the British public are about to get a chance to go on TV and exercise their pipes - alongside the two most repulsively annoying men in broadcasting (and I don't mean Piers Morgan and David Hasselhoff).
The panel - Cowell, Walsh, Minogue and Cole - will give equal measures of grimacing and applause as the never-ending stream of cretins streams in and out of the audition room (or at least the cretins that we get to see).
You'll have more chances to see fat, common women shout and bellow at the judges; more sob stories of young men, injured men and women, and single parents; more young, good-looking TV fodder in the shape of young men and male bands; more tits and flesh in the shape of young women and girl bands; and more token appearances from teenagers singing like they've shit in their mouths and old people singing ditties from the 40s and 50s.
Enjoy the fucking show, Great Britain!
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