A young Jon Stewart interviewing George Carlin.

George Carlin's five As (what every student should receive from their teachers): attention, admiration, approval, approbation and applause. Thank goodness (or the luck of an eager sperm which swam up his mother's birth canal (after being discharged from his father's penis, of course) to fertilise some lucky egg). We are all the stupendous and miraculous products of chance and odds at work - we're no more than the results of cosmological gambits. Live your lives with relish and felicity, people, because this is most definitely the only chance you're ever gonna get - fuck the Hindus and fuck the Christians, Jews and Muslims*!

*I don't literally mean have forced sex with a Christian, Muslim of Jewish person; nor do I mean go out there and taunt religious people. I don't advocate malice or creulty - no matter how mild you may think the form. I don't even advocate ridicule. (That's mainly because these religious types naturally ridicule themselves by believing such tripe - why ridicule the ridiculed? That's just fuckin' wasted time and effort - as well as the afflicting of the afflicted.)

Be compassionate to your fellow man (regardless of what that person believes), but don't unthinkingly bend to the whims of a person just because they believe in certain things and you'd like to not 'offend' them or appear too overzealous. (I love that - as if atheists can be overzealous! Fuck me! What is the world coming to when the application of the word 'overzealous' can switch from fervent religious types to atheists?) Think for yourselves, people. (And listen to me - hahahahaha!)