Do you ever think it's a conspiracy that there are so many conspiracies...?
I'm thinking of making a film of Good Morning, Vietnam ilk called 'Good Morning, Auschwitz'.
I've forgotten whether I've got amnesia....
I've a yogi who's very hairy. His name is 'Yogi Bear'.
Everything's calmer after karma.
My sister plays with a dodo. It's funny, you know: I thought they went extinct years ago.
Apparently, someone in America is moving House - from NBC to HBO.
My seventy-three year old friend recently got into comedy. He was awarded the 'best oldcomer of the year' award.
The chlamydia department at my hospital is hard to find.
What do you call the top of Coldean? Warmdean.
What do you call a man carrying a plank of wood on his head whilst walking towards the sea? Seawards.
What do you call the same man walking into the sea? Drift wood.
I was once awarded a certificate of attendance but I couldn't be there to claim it.
Osaka's gay netball team is called 'Osaka'.
I offered to buy a shit used car for £10,000. The salesman asked me whether I was short-sighted. 'Yes,' I said. 'They're a prescription.'
There's a Catholic and a protestant school in my town at which the Catholics are protestant-leaning, and the protestants are Catholic-leaning (but both still want to kill the Jews).
There's a chlamydia unit at my hospital which recently lost a ton of paperwork - it's lost because it's undetectable.
I've an artist friend who's overdrawn.
Whenever I walk to work, I read the Metro. Whenever I get the train, I read Walking magazine.
My dad's into hairdye - he likes 'A Touch of Grey'. I find the product a bit ambiguous, though: there's a lot of grey area (especially around the ears).
No comments:
Post a Comment