Why did the auditor cross the road? To make sure the chicken was crossing correctly.
Why did the banana cross the road? It was really long.
Why did Lady Gaga die from an epileptic fit at home? Because she couldn't reach her telephone.
I was once branded a racist for asking about knickers in a lingerie store.
What was wrong with the police survey? It came up with mostly cons.
What was wrong with the data on fjords? It contained massive gaps.
Why did the Spaniard fall asleep in the Ford? It was a Ford Siesta.
I once did a silent gig for advanced music students.
What did the pained pirate say? 'Ooooohh! Aaarghhhhhh!'
I know a man whose right leg is shorter than his left. I asked him how he was the other day. He told me he was all right.
What's pink, black, and blue? A gay bloke who's just been beaten up.
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