It certainly seems her stage-name is somewhat metonymic, for the fucker certainly is nuts. I started to become suspicious of her after hearing her dross single 'Just Dance' a few months ago. Then, a couple of weeks after that, she released her second single 'Poker Face' which seems to say something about her Texas Hold-'em abilities.
What I really can't stand about her - apart from the fact that her lyrics are non-existent and her songs are lame as a paraplegic's legs - is the ridiculous amount of posing she does (in both her videos and on stage). Last night she appeared on Friday Night with Jonathon Ross to perform Poker Face. Immediately, of course, I noted that her poker face must just be her normal countenance as she mostly seems to enjoy pulling Madonna-esque vogues.
In her performance, she switched intermittently from her regular, lame style of singing to growls and barks reminiscent of the howls of a hoarse, 50-year-old jazz singer with bronchitis. All the while, several background dancers - all black - jumped around trying to jazz up the poor charade, thus trying to remove from the fact that she has zilch talent.
It really says something about 21st century music when this pathetic piece of work can claim the number 1 spot twice (and shortly afterwards be pipped to the post by post-glory, ageing Irish rockers U2). It also says something about the standard when any record producer would take note of her 'music' at all. Is there any original talent out there at the moment? Well, yes. My money's on Madeleine Peyroux and Doves to bring up the standard over the next couple of weeks - at least.
There is one good thing about her, though: she certainly seems to give scope to young people with speaker-equipped mobile phones to ceaselessly annoy commuting adults. It seems they all must relate to her and the fact that no one can possibly ever read their secret, teenage poker faces. Well, my young dears, poker faces come with time, and maybe one day all of you will be able to see through Miss Gaga's poker face into the interminable void lying just beyond the expressionless surface.
What I really can't stand about her - apart from the fact that her lyrics are non-existent and her songs are lame as a paraplegic's legs - is the ridiculous amount of posing she does (in both her videos and on stage). Last night she appeared on Friday Night with Jonathon Ross to perform Poker Face. Immediately, of course, I noted that her poker face must just be her normal countenance as she mostly seems to enjoy pulling Madonna-esque vogues.
In her performance, she switched intermittently from her regular, lame style of singing to growls and barks reminiscent of the howls of a hoarse, 50-year-old jazz singer with bronchitis. All the while, several background dancers - all black - jumped around trying to jazz up the poor charade, thus trying to remove from the fact that she has zilch talent.
It really says something about 21st century music when this pathetic piece of work can claim the number 1 spot twice (and shortly afterwards be pipped to the post by post-glory, ageing Irish rockers U2). It also says something about the standard when any record producer would take note of her 'music' at all. Is there any original talent out there at the moment? Well, yes. My money's on Madeleine Peyroux and Doves to bring up the standard over the next couple of weeks - at least.
There is one good thing about her, though: she certainly seems to give scope to young people with speaker-equipped mobile phones to ceaselessly annoy commuting adults. It seems they all must relate to her and the fact that no one can possibly ever read their secret, teenage poker faces. Well, my young dears, poker faces come with time, and maybe one day all of you will be able to see through Miss Gaga's poker face into the interminable void lying just beyond the expressionless surface.
When I've failed to understand the meaning of this song, I wonder how young people must feel. Do they know what it means? Or is it just another piece of senseless, self-regarding shit spun to make confused, young people - we all were at one point - feel it's really special and thus go out in their droves to buy it? Apparently - according to an interview on Jonathon Ross - the inspiration for Poker Face came to Gaga after she was having sex with a man whilst secretly imagining the man to be a woman.
All I know is she's no different to the 50 Cents and Eminems of today, who, without end or remorse, advocate glamorous and undignified lifestyles unattainable by any right-thinking or sensible person with both a conscience and a decent taste in music. Although I can tolerate her, evangelical Christians must see her as some sort of portent highlighting the impending apocalypse, right? Meh! Maybe they don't and maybe I'll just dance along as my brain begins to turn to mush. Or maybe she's some futuristic-looking Jesus who's come to judge us by spinning god-awful music to a hungry-for-shit society. Whatever you do, don't take it! You'll be doomed!
Well, after all I've said I think I'll just reflect by leaving you with that age-old sentiment: one person's shit is another person's diarrhoea is another person's constipation. All that I can say for sure is that if Bill Hicks were alive today I'm sure he'd immediately shoot himself in the back of the skull upon seeing this Chimera-like freak, composed of the dead limbs of a thousand talentless musician hacks. Goodnight!
For those who wish to join the good fight, join the following Facebook group: Lady Gaga Must Die. Thanks, all.
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